WHAT SETS BEVERAGES APART from other industries? It’s the sheer variety, innovation, and marketing prowess that go into the products. Recently, I decided I wanted to see what happened when all that creativity went into me. So I started drinking… everything.
See, at BevNET Live, we offered a Sample Bar for attendees. More than 60 brands submitted products! My mission: try as many as I could over the course of the day. Suffice it to say, it made for one pretty wild ride.
(Editor’s Note: In truth, we’re not really sure that what follows actually happened. We believe Barry’s column is a metaphor for the diverse variety of innovative products available for trial at BevNET Live, and, by extension, within the entire industry. But as regular readers of this space know, Barry did attend Woodstock. So anything is possible.)
Just like many consumers, I started my day with orange juice. But this wasn’t your garden variety stuff, it was Italian Blood Orange Juice. Then, I hit the cooler again to chase the citrus with two Aloe Vera juices. My day was now under way, but I needed some protein: Oh Yeah! and Muscle Milk gave me my daily requirement, and more. I was ready to greet some old friends, and to hear the panelists.
And on they came. Parched from talking, I delved into the Coconut Water trio that was collectively chosen as our Product of the year: Vita Coco, Zico, and O.N.E. I was again fully hydrated and ready to go!
Next, I started trying some of our more exotic products. Adina Holistics, WheyUP, Pre Probiotics and Venga Infusions were just a few of the brands we offered. After drinking them, I felt healthy, hearty, spiritual, even ticklish. Whey protein and probiotics are an odd combo.
Throughout the course of the day, water and its derivatives cleansed my palate. I tried the gamut of flavors and functions: Hint, Nika, Rockin’ Water, Skinny, Activate, Cardio Water, Icio and OOBA, and chased it all with some Designer Whey Protein Water. The variations were staggering.
After consuming all those waters, I was staggering, too. So I turned to the energy category to get my motor running. Along with Monster, Red Bull and 5-Hour Energy, we had Va, Tomic, BAWLS, Spider, Molotov and several others. As I slurped on an organic Steaz energy, I began to imagine that I had entered a far-off land where a 60-something man can play centerfield for the Yankees while dancing with an umbrella.
It was at this point that several of my dearest friends decided to give me some calming iced tea. I drank a New Leaf, some more Steaz, a ZT Red Tea, some T2U, and many others. I was refreshed, but still frantic – something I realized after I went up to my room, challenged my Loofa to a fight, and lost. I charged back into the cooler, searching for new functional claims to help me change my life. And I found them, happily chugging down Noah’s Anti-Aging Beauty and GTOX, the Hangover Blocker. With those two products looking out for me, I knew I was bound to be safe and ready for the next speakers.
Unfortunately, it appears I missed them. At around 3 a.m., I looked up from my pile of empty bottles. Everyone had left the lobby and headed home. I was up, I was down, I was happy, I was sad, I needed something to take the edge off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw sweet relief: someone had left the entirety of the relaxation drink category for me to sample. I quickly threw down a Drank, a RelaxZen, and a Dr. Zen’s Liquid Calm.
Well, I wouldn’t say I was fine. I would say you should never try this at home. Especially since I have no idea how I got home myself. But as someone who chronicles the industry, it’s my job to do it so that you don’t have to. As a result, I’ve seen the future of beverages. It was great fun. Innovation abounds. Enjoy it. Just not all at once. And have a happy holiday season!